Sandy (51 years ) - Nationality white - 07 October 2004
"My quit date was 10/23/03 I am a few weeks away from my one month lungaversary. My hubby still is a chain smoker...my back door for over 13 years of being married to him while each quit attempt ended in a fight with him or me hating the new non smoking me. He even told me on a past quit he didn't like me as a non smoker. (me neither really) Last October my hubby and I set a quit date and decided to quit together. I did jump the gun by two days and decided in the middle of the day ENOUGH!! I wanted away from this ball and death chain. I started out with left over 5 mg patches and NO support from my angry smoking husband that wanted me to have waited for him. (This was our 10th quit date...he kept changing it) The day came he was to join me in the quit, he managed to stay smoke free for three hours. I was in tears and got on the computer. I wanted HELP!!!! I figured if anyone cared if I quit it would be the lung assoc. Through that google search I found FFS on-line support group. I spent the day reading posts and signed up. I decided after reading some responces I would rip off the patch and go for it. I wanted so bad to be a non smoker. I smoked for over 30 years of my life. I was a 2 & 1/2 pack a day smoker. My identity was wrapped around the killer smoke. When my husband relapsed I was ready to give up (easy out) but decided my life was worth saving. I had read enough to know this was my quit, my life and my choice. I went to http://www.whyquit.com and read so much. I printed off a copy of Nicodemons Lies and carried them with me everywhere. At work I became the quitter..."no one likes a quitter" I was told by my boss. I ended taking breaks alone. Reading the Nicodemon Lies. My family all smoked...kids smoke and hubby smokes. So many times I have wondered what's the use??? Life...that's what keeps coming back. Plus, I was serious about this quit and darn determined I was so much bigger than this addiction. I learned every thing I could about this addiction and was sickened. I didn't know. I thought I had a bad habit. I found out I myself will always be one puff away from a pack or more. Most important...I believed in myself. I told myself...I CAN DO THIS!!! Follow the program step by step at FFS...don't miss a modual. Read Kevins Tales http://www.woofmang.com/ a voice of experience. Go to Why quit, Quit net, Phillip Morris (Oh yes they tell you smoking kills) Learn as much as you can about this addiction. Knowledge is power. Post on the on-line support groups when you feel weak. Or join a 3D support group. Rant, rave, cry, but never lose sight on the reason you are doing this and laugh often. This is our choice...your quit, your life. Smoking hubby has to be ready. I can talk untill I am blue...he'll only hear when he is ready. I take care of myself...his smokes are on the table, they no longer call me. Every day you get better, stronger, and breathing free. Choose life. You can do this. It's worth it and I am learning to love the new me. I am learning to be a non smoker. I have down times but not smoking doesn't cause it no more than smoking will fix it. Choose life...you can do this. One step at a time. Baby steps if needed. Who knows...the day may come when smoking husband chooses life. Sit back reflect on all the reasons you want to quit and do it. One breath at a time. Always remember "life happens" rather you smoke or not. I now keep an on-line diary, it helps to never forget where you have been or where you are heading. Sandy (fightn4life) "
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